Work is weird.
You spend eight hours a day with people you didn't choose, answering emails you didn't ask for, sitting through meetings that could've been emails, and trying to remember which version of “Sounds good!” means sounds good and which one means I hate this idea but I'm tired of talking about it.
And through all of it, you're expected to be professional.
Which is unfortunate.
Because sometimes what you're actually thinking probably shouldn't be said within 500 feet of HR.
That's where the t-shirt comes in.
These are funny work shirts for office survivors, meeting sufferers, chronic overthinkers, quiet coworkers and anyone who's ever looked across the conference table at their work friend and communicated an entire paragraph with one facial expression.
Basically...
Our people.
1. Be Kind (of Quiet)
We're all for kindness.
Hold the door.
Help somebody when they're struggling.
Bring donuts.
But there's another act of kindness that doesn't get nearly enough recognition:
Not talking.
Especially before 9 a.m.
Some people walk into work ready to tell you what they did all weekend.
That's wonderful, Cathy.
But we haven't even logged in yet.
Be Kind (of Quiet) is for the people who don't hate their coworkers.
They'd just occasionally like them to stop making sounds.
2. Have the Day You Deserve
Maybe our favorite professionally acceptable insult.
Because you didn't say anything mean.
Quite the opposite.
You wished them a good—
Well...
You wished them an appropriate day.
What happens after that is between them and the universe.
Perfect for difficult coworkers, annoying customers, unnecessary reply-all emails and anyone who uses the phrase “per my last email.”
Have the day you deserve.
Warmly,
Everyone.
→ Shop Have the Day You Deserve
3. You're Under-thinking It
Every office needs an overthinker.
Someone has to consider the 14 things that could go wrong while everyone else is saying:
“I'm sure it'll be fine.”
Will it, though?
Have we considered every possible scenario?
What if the client hates it?
What if they love it?
What if they love it too much?
Give us a minute.
We're still thinking.
You're Under-thinking It is basically the official uniform of anyone who's ever written an email, reread it six times and then changed “Thanks” to “Thank you” because somehow it felt less aggressive.
→ Shop You're Under-thinking It
4. Sounds Like an Issue, Not an Ishme
There's a particular walk coworkers do when they're about to make their problem your problem.
Laptop under one arm.
Slightly concerned expression.
Heading directly toward you.
Don't make eye contact.
Too late.
“Hey, do you have a second?”
No sentence beginning with those words has ever taken a second.
Sometimes you help because you're a good person.
Sometimes you nod sympathetically while thinking:
That sounds like an issue.
Not an ishme.
And now there's a shirt for that.
→ Shop Sounds Like an Issue, Not an Ishme
5. I Forgot What I Was Gonna Say
You had something.
It was important.
Possibly brilliant.
Then somebody interrupted you.
Gone.
Or maybe you walked from your desk into another room and suddenly had absolutely no idea why you were there.
So you stand there looking around like the room might provide clues.
Nothing.
Walk back to your desk.
Sit down.
Remember immediately.
Get back up.
This isn't really a funny work shirt.
It's documentation.
→ Shop I Forgot What I Was Gonna Say
6. Said Yes. Meant No.
“Can you help me with something quick?”
Yes.
No.
“Want to grab lunch with everybody?”
Sure.
Absolutely not.
“Can you jump on a quick call at 4:30?”
No problem.
I have several problems with that.
Some of us weren't born with the ability to say no.
So we say yes.
Then spend the next three hours wondering why the hell we said yes.
Said Yes. Meant No.
A shirt.
A confession.
A lifestyle.
7. Never Give Up — Unless You're Kinda Over It
You know those inspirational office posters?
PERSISTENCE.
TEAMWORK.
SUCCESS.
Usually accompanied by somebody climbing a mountain at sunrise.
Beautiful.
But sometimes you've been working on something for four hours, nothing is working and you have reached the point where your best strategic decision is:
Screw it.
We'll look at it tomorrow.
And you know what?
Tomorrow-you might figure it out in six minutes.
You're welcome, tomorrow-you.
Never Give Up — Unless You're Kinda Over It is motivational apparel for people with realistic expectations.
→ Shop Never Give Up — Unless You're Kinda Over It
8. Sorry, I Stopped Listening
It happens gradually.
At first you're listening.
Then you're sort of listening.
Then you realize you've been staring at the person talking while thinking about tacos for approximately 45 seconds.
And they're still talking.
Oh shit.
They just asked a question.
This is where years of workplace experience kick in:
“Yeah, I think that makes sense.”
Nailed it.
Sorry, I Stopped Listening is for meetings, conference calls and stories that absolutely did not need that much backstory.
→ Shop Sorry, I Stopped Listening
9. I'm Not for Everyone
Eventually, you reach a wonderful point in your working life where you realize:
Not everybody has to like you.
Some people will think you're funny.
Some will think you're quiet.
Some will think you're weird.
Some will somehow manage to schedule a 7:30 a.m. meeting and therefore cannot be trusted anyway.
I'm Not for Everyone isn't really an insult.
It's efficiency.
You find your people.
Everybody else can circle back.
10. I'm Out of the Loop on Purpose
Office gossip has an incredible distribution network.
Nobody knows who's responsible for ordering printer toner.
But everyone somehow knows what happened between Dave and Jennifer at happy hour.
We don't need to know.
Don't tell us.
Please don't make us remember another person's drama when we're already using most of our available brainpower trying to remember our own passwords.
Being out of the loop isn't always a failure of communication.
Sometimes it's self-care.
→ Shop I'm Out of the Loop on Purpose
11. Think. Rethink. Repeat.
Make decision.
Question decision.
Reverse decision.
Question reversal.
Return to original decision.
Wonder whether that was a mistake.
Welcome to the brain of an overthinker.
The rest of the office thinks we've been staring silently at the screen for five minutes.
We're actually on scenario 37.
Please don't interrupt.
We're almost back to the exact conclusion we reached five minutes ago.
→ Shop Think. Rethink. Repeat.
12. Not in This Economy
Want to go out for lunch?
Not in this economy.
Office fundraiser?
Not in this economy.
Want to chip in $27 for Brad's birthday present even though you've spoken to Brad twice?
Not. In. This. Economy.
It's one of those phrases that works as an answer to an alarming number of questions.
And sometimes the best work shirt isn't complicated.
It just says the thing everybody else was about to say anyway.
Funny Work Shirts for People Who Get It
That's really what we like about funny t-shirts.
You don't have to explain them.
The right person sees yours while you're getting coffee and laughs.
Or points at it.
Or gives you that little nod.
That nod means:
Yep. You're one of us.
Because work is serious enough already.
There are deadlines to hit. Clients to keep happy. Emails to answer. Spreadsheets to spreadsheet. And, for reasons nobody fully understands, another meeting at 2:30.
You might as well have some fun with it even if you can only safely wear it after work hours.
At grmbl tees, we make funny, sarcastic t-shirts for introverts, overthinkers, office survivors and people who occasionally need their clothing to say the thing they're not supposed to.
Because sometimes you shouldn't say what's on your mind at work.
But nobody said your shirt couldn't.