I Regret Nothing – Funny Sarcastic Tee

Look… no one’s saying anything definitive happened.
But also… this feels deserved.

This tee features a raccoon mid-arrest, hands behind his back, standing next to a cop like he absolutely got caught doing something he shouldn’t have. No explanation. No defense. Just consequences.

Allegedly.

• People who make questionable decisions (repeatedly)
• Fans of chaos with a slight criminal undertone
• Anyone who’s ever thought “worth it” immediately after

Why this shirt works:

• Peak “I probably did it” energy
• Soft, comfortable fit for everyday mischief
• Subtle enough to wear anywhere, chaotic enough to get looks
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton t-shirt (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

Perfect gift for:

• Your friend who’s always up to something
• The one who gets caught (not sorry about it)
• Anyone with strong “this seemed like a good idea at the time” vibes

Wear it when:

• You’re making decisions you shouldn’t be making
• You’re accepting consequences in advance
• You want people to assume the worst (accurately)

Side effects may include:

• Suspicious glances
• People asking “what did you do?”
• You choosing not to answer

Bottom line:

If your personality leans a little chaotic and your judgment is occasionally optional, this shirt says everything—no statement required.